The first meeting of the psychologist with the parents of the students
Most often, the psychologist’s presentation at the first parent meeting occurs at the beginning of the first quarter, if a new class is just starting to study at this school (for example, an orientation meeting of parents of 1st grade, 5th grade students in a gymnasium), or at the end of the first quarter
Organizational aspects
The importance of this meeting cannot be underestimated, although typically the school psychologist is given limited time for organizational communication. The impression the psychologist makes can play a big role in his future relationships with the parents of schoolchildren - how much they will trust him, how they will be able to cooperate.
When preparing for a speech, it is useful to think about the following questions: - Why should this be done? What is the goal? - What do you need to talk about? — What should be the result of the performance? - What is the best way to do this?
So, why does a psychologist speak at this meeting? He needs to establish contact with parents and introduce them to the goals, objectives and content of psychological work at school. Therefore, you need to talk about yourself, about psychological work at school, why it is done and how. It is also important for parents to understand how the relationship with the psychologist will be built: what exactly he does with their child and with the class in general, how they will find out about what is happening, what questions can be addressed to the psychologist and whether it is possible at all. Therefore, it is important for a specialist to create conditions in which he can develop productive cooperation with the families of schoolchildren.
The process of creating a contact most often begins with a greeting and introduction. When introducing yourself, you must clearly say your last name, first name, and patronymic so that your parents can hear and write it down. This will save them later from the awkward situation when, in search of a psychologist, they will have to explain that they are looking for “the little dark girl with glasses who came to the meeting.”
Nowadays, many people use presentations. In this case, all organizational information should be displayed on a slide, but it should still be voiced. If you're not using a slideshow, it's a good idea to write your details on the board. You must name your position and education. If you work at a school for a long period of time, it is also useful to talk about this. Work experience - additional information about your competence. Working for a long time in one institution can indicate a good climate in the team and your stable authority as a specialist. This is something that can endear parents both to you personally and to the educational institution, and to instill a sense of reliability.
Do I need to report my education or is it enough to say that you are a psychologist? Everyone decides for themselves, but if you studied at a well-known university or institute with a good reputation, then why not say so? Firstly, this will give an idea of your qualifications, and secondly, the attitude towards the university will partially extend to you.
Tell us about your scientific degree, if you have one. Many young candidates of science are embarrassed to tell their parents that they have defended their dissertation or are conducting scientific and practical work, and do not mention the academic side of their work at school. Meanwhile, additional regalia speaks of your hard work and seriousness. Parents of the students you work with will benefit from this information.
Many psychologists, in addition to academic education, additionally specialize in various psychotherapeutic areas. For example, art therapy, psychoanalysis, Jungian therapy, psychodrama, the Gestalt approach - the list goes on for a long time. Everyone decides for themselves whether to talk about this side of education, in which they invest effort, time, money and for which they want to receive recognition. I just want to note that it is difficult to understand many psychotherapeutic areas without special training, and you most likely will not have the opportunity to immediately find out how much you were understood. Therefore, if you decide to talk about this aspect of your qualifications, think about why you are doing this and how to avoid possible ambiguity.
Formulating goals
Depending on the mission of the school, depending on what model of psychological service is adopted in a given school, the goals of the work of a school psychologist or psychological service are formulated, and the work of a psychologist is organized differently.
Before telling you what a psychologist does, I would suggest briefly explaining what psychology is. It seems that we are talking about something banal, something that everyone knows well. We live in a society with very psychologized language. The words “complex”, “ego”, “amnesia” and even “cognitive dissonance” have entered everyday use and are found in everyday dialogues. It seems that people understand what psychologists do and what their statements are about. However, the idea of psychologists is often formulated in statements: “this is for crazy people”, “you need a psychoanalyst”, “my astrologer said”, “you need to consult a psychologist”, and the expected image of a specialist, thanks to the media, is similar to Dr. Kurpatov or consultants series “Understand and Forgive”, on analysts from American films proposing to express aggression with the help of Batak. The range is quite wide, and how much of this applies to you and your work at school?
It would be good to explain that psychology is the science of the soul. That the task of a school psychologist is to help children maximize their potential in learning and communication, feel comfortable, properly build relationships with classmates and teachers, and accept themselves. That the school psychologist does not make psychiatric diagnoses is a matter for the doctor. But at the same time, observing the child at school, how he studies and builds relationships with others, as well as based on the results of academic performance and psychological diagnostics, he may recommend consulting with another specialist: a neuropsychologist, speech therapist (this specialist is also called a defectologist, and parents sometimes they are afraid of such a specialty), etc. Then the psychologist tells how his work is organized. It is important to inform parents about planned diagnostic activities, developmental activities and trainings. What is planned and what is optional. It is imperative to explain why this or that work is being carried out, how the test results are used, to whom and in what form they are reported; why this or that training is carried out, what children receive as a result. The forms of work with parents are described - whether the school has a parent club, lecture hall or training for parents, how individual meetings are organized.
The workload of a school psychologist leaves virtually no room for individual work, including correctional, developmental and psychotherapeutic work. Not to mention the fact that the question of how ethical it is for a school psychologist to engage in psychotherapy with any of the participants in the educational process requires a separate discussion. Therefore, it is worth explaining to parents that if necessary, you can offer them another specialist. Such information will help establish professional boundaries and protect you from excessive expectations from student parents.
Some schools have specialists whose functional responsibilities include individual work with schoolchildren at risk according to certain criteria. In this case, you need to provide his last name, first name and patronymic, describe the direction of work and how to contact him. If the meeting is held at the end of the quarter, the psychologist can bring the results of the diagnosis carried out according to plan. I have seen parents who received a sign that listed the cognitive and emotional characteristics of the child and the average for the class, expressed in numbers and percentages; there was practically no text there. If a person is not a specialist, it is difficult for him to understand how to relate to the information received and what to do with it. If the child’s result is low, parents may feel that they cannot cope with something, that they have failed, or will begin to devalue the result, experiencing aggression towards the psychologist.
How to present information.
Our experience shows that it is more productive to offer information in the following form:
- Describe the child’s strengths - what is well developed, what he does well, what he can rely on in learning.
- What to pay attention to. When describing those indicators that a student turned out to be lower than those of his classmates, one should avoid negative assessments. For example, you should not write “low level of memory development,” but “memorizes a small task at once.”
- What is recommended. It is better to give specific recommendations. For example, “tasks that require memorization should be divided into small parts and memorized in parts.”
If you report test results in class, then describe to parents what you did, for what purpose, hand out conclusions and inform where and when you can tell parents about their children individually.
Concluding his speech, the psychologist should say what his working hours are, how parents can contact him, and where to meet if necessary. This information should also be placed on a slide or written on the board.
When preparing to speak in front of your parents, think about who they are to you: people who entrusted their children to you, and you are responsible for this; people who prevent you from doing your job well; people with whom you do common business. Depending on how you feel about the parents of schoolchildren, what role you assign to them in your relationship, you will build your speech. If you are responsible for the result, then the performance will be a report. If you don’t need parents, then you will structure your speech in such a way as to clearly define your boundaries, tell them what you expect from the students’ families. If you are doing a common cause, then try to agree on what you want to achieve and how to distribute responsibility.
In any case, when speaking to parents, the psychologist should speak in simple, understandable language, avoiding scientific terms. Important information should be repeated, preferably in a different modality. And don’t try to fit everything you know into one meeting, this is only the first meeting, you will have the opportunity to meet again.
Start of a new relationship
The above describes simple things that seem obvious. But precisely because of this simplicity, the issues mentioned are not always given enough attention.
Experienced psychologists who have worked at the school for many years have formed their own strategy for establishing contact with students’ families. But when, year after year, at the same time, under the same conditions (and sometimes the listeners are partially the same) you talk about the same things, the illusion arises that everyone knows everything, that you are well they understand that this has already been said and some information is omitted. If such a possibility is foreseen in advance, each specialist will find for himself the most convenient way to overcome the described difficulties.
The easiest option is to write a plan in advance. In case you are using a presentation and you have last year's one, review it. No matter how good a slideshow is, you show it at a different time and to other people, and you yourself may have changed in a year. It is worth checking how relevant this material is, how it is in tune with your current state, and whether anything needs to be added or changed.
The feeling that you have already made contact may appear if among the listeners there are people you know. For example, parents of children who are in high school, your neighbors or acquaintances. Unconsciously, there may be an urge to continue the existing relationship. And then a not very convenient situation arises when you need to establish contact with part of the audience, but continue the relationship with someone else.
Look at this situation from this point of view: you establish contact with everyone like a school psychologist who starts working with a new class. This is the beginning of a new relationship with everyone. What has been said does not mean at all that one should reject an already established acquaintance. You may well acknowledge him by first saying that you are glad to see familiar faces.
Possible reaction
I would like to say a few words about the possible reaction of parents. The first meeting is an introductory meeting, and it is likely that you will be listened to politely, as people need time to connect the information received with the realities of their children's school life and decide how to use this information. But there may be a person in the audience who, for some reason, is opposed to relationships with psychologists. If he begins to demonstrate his negative attitude towards psychological work, it is easy to become confused. And it doesn’t matter whether he speaks politely and reasonedly or aggressively and affectively. Any public rejection is unpleasant.
What can be done in such a situation? Firstly, it is worth noting that all statements do not relate to you personally, but to the past experience of the speaker or to his beliefs. Therefore, it is better not to enter into a discussion, but to admit that a person has the right to his point of view. Listen carefully to your opponent and try to understand what makes him reject your work.
Secondly, you need to find a constructive way out of the current situation. In your search for a way out, you can rely on how a psychologist’s contract with parents is concluded in a given educational institution. In a number of schools, psychological services are included in the general agreement with parents, which parents sign when registering their child for school. In this case, you refer to the provision of the school contract. Your answer might sound something like this: “You have every right to decide whether or not to use the services of a school psychologist. But you have entered into an agreement with the school, and the question of how to refuse school-wide planned psychological events, please agree with the administration.”
In some educational institutions, there is what is called a “contract by default,” when the psychologist makes an oral agreement with the parents, and your speech at the meeting is, in essence, the conclusion of such a contract. There is a third option, when parents enter into a contract directly with the psychological service, and this is done at the end of the first meeting (the psychologist brings forms prepared in advance). In the situations described, a family can refuse the services of a school psychologist, relying on the right to choose services, but the refusal must be formalized in writing.
When refusal to interact with a psychologist is associated with a previous unpleasant experience, you can say: “I see that you have negative ideas about working with a psychologist, and you, of course, do not want to repeat the bad experience. I suggest you look at how psychological work is carried out in our school, and return to this conversation later.” By acknowledging the parents' position, you give them time to take stock of the new situation and leave the door open for subsequent dialogue. A psychologist can win over listeners, gain trust, and then one of the parents will turn to him with a question that concerns him. At a parent meeting, the psychologist is limited in time, his speech is one of many, and parents are in a hurry to go home. At the same time, if it is possible to answer the question succinctly and the topic is not too personal, then it is better to do so. This will be a small demonstration of the specialist’s personal working style and will give parents an idea of what they can expect when interacting with him. It is worth paying increased attention to issues related to age-related characteristics that may be of interest to many.
If the question asked is of a more private nature or the psychologist is limited in time, you can always arrange an additional meeting, recognizing the importance of the topic of concern to the parents.
Irina LEIBMAN Candidate of Psychological Sciences, Moscow Source: School Psychologist magazine No. 7-8 2014
Parents' meeting "Age-related characteristics of the mental development of children 4–5 years old."
Parents' meeting "Age-related characteristics of the mental development of children 4–5 years old."
Good evening, dear parents!
Today we will talk about the psychological characteristics of children 4-5 years old and what is important to develop in children of this age and what should be paid special attention to in their upbringing.
The age of 4-5 years is a period of relative calm, which passes without sudden jumps or crises. At the same time, the rate of child development does not decrease. Qualitative changes are taking place in all areas of his life.
To promote the personal development of a 4-5 year old child, the following must be taken into account.
Firstly, at this age the foundations of a creative attitude towards the objective world are already laid. For this purpose, you can use those modest crafts that a child creates with his own hands for play or as a gift to someone. If an adult systematically emphasizes that the child has done something himself, that he already knows a lot and can create an atmosphere of well-deserved recognition and success for everyone, then the satisfaction that the child will experience will encourage him to continue setting similar tasks.
Secondly, during this period, a truly cognitive attitude towards the world, a disinterested need for knowledge out of interest and desire to know, can arise. For the further development of cognitive interest, it is important not only to give the child new knowledge in a fun way, it is necessary to treat his own mental searches and their results with the utmost respect. At the fifth year of life, the child is already able to think without relying on direct experience. He acquires a circle of purely verbal knowledge. Operating with such knowledge, a child can sometimes come to the wrong conclusions and obtain logically imperfect results. Any sign of disrespect for these first independent intellectual steps can discourage a child from becoming interested in the field of knowledge and depriving him of self-confidence. Therefore, the most important requirement for the personal relationships of adults with children and in their relationships with each other is a serious and respectful attitude towards all, even incorrect, considerations of the child.
This does not mean that adults should approve of any wrong thoughts and considerations of children. Adults should not evaluate children, but discuss their considerations with them and object to them as if on equal terms, and not from above. It naturally follows that what is new in a child’s attitude towards other people should be, on the one hand, interest and respect for an adult as a source of new knowledge and a tactful assistant in his own intellectual quests, and on the other hand, a respectful and interested attitude towards similar intellectual quests his peers.
Physical development
During this age period, the following physical abilities of children are improved:
- increases endurance;
— coordination improves;
- movements become more accurate and confident;
— speed and agility indicators improve.
At the same time, children of middle preschool age are very active, they have a constant need for movement. If this need is not met and active motor activity is limited, children quickly become overexcited, become disobedient, and capricious.
Tip #1
Provide your child with opportunities for active mobility. Do not allow him to become overtired (pale appearance, shortness of breath, loss of coordination). Change your load and type of activity in a timely manner. Do not allow strength exercises.
Mental development
At the age of 4-5 years, many mental processes in a child become more voluntary and conscious (this means that the child can already set a goal, for example, to memorize a poem).
The thinking of the average preschooler moves to a new level - it becomes figurative, the child can already solve problems not only in the process of practical actions with objects, but also in his mind, relying on his figurative ideas about objects. Children can find similarities and differences between objects according to various criteria, group them according to essential characteristics, eliminate unnecessary things, and generalize.
Tip #2
Offer your child geometric figures, puzzles, mosaics, Lego and other manufacturers to play with.
In middle preschool age, memory capacity increases. Children can remember about 5-7 names of objects. Random memorization appears (they can learn small poems by heart). In the process of mastering speech and listening to literary works, children develop figurative and verbal memory.
Tip #3
Read fairy tales to children. Ask them to retell what they heard.
By the age of 5, attention becomes more and more stable (the child can engage in interesting activities for 15-20 minutes) - if the child goes after the ball, he will no longer be distracted by other interesting objects. An important indicator of the development of attention is that by the age of 5, action according to the rule appears in the child’s activities. It is at this age that children begin to actively play games with rules: board games (lotto, children's dominoes) and mobile games (hide and seek, tag).
Tip #4
Draw children's attention to a detailed study of various objects, finding similarities and differences.
Imagination is actively developing. The child fantasizes a lot, invents imaginary friends, and creates a fairy-tale world around himself. He dreams of his own superpowers and great recognition of his merits. Thanks to a developed imagination, a child can understand something that he himself has not seen, but which he will be told about in detail and clearly. Due to his violent imagination, he may develop fears.
Tip #5
Don't ignore children's fears. Discuss with your child what scares him. Look for information on how you can get rid of fears and, if necessary, contact specialists.
In the fourth or fifth year of life, the child not only actively masters speech, he creatively masters the language, he, in essence, engages in word creation (K. Chukovsky).
At this stage, sound pronunciation improves, children master the grammatical structure of the language: they understand and correctly use prepositions, learn to construct complex sentences, etc. Coherent speech develops (the child becomes able to retell a short literary text, compose a story based on a picture or a series of pictures).
Tip #6
If your child still has problems with sound pronunciation, do not ignore this problem - contact a speech therapist.
A game
The game is becoming more and more complex: it is already plot-role-playing (plot, roles, game actions). As the game progresses, the child can change the role, and it becomes possible to establish role interactions (role dialogue). In the game, the child reflects the objective actions of adults aimed at other people, designating these actions with a role (I am a doctor, I am a mother, I am a salesperson).
At this age, children develop ideas about how girls should behave and how boys should behave (“I’m a boy, I wear pants, not dresses, I have short hair,” about the gender of people of different ages (a boy is a son, grandson, brother, father, man; girl - daughter, granddaughter, sister, mother, woman).By the age of 5, children have an understanding of the characteristics of the most common male and female professions, types of recreation, specific behavior in communicating with other people, about individual feminine and masculine qualities, are able to recognize and evaluate the emotional states and actions of adults of different sexes.
Communication with adults and peers
The child regards his parents as an inexhaustible and authoritative source of new information, and therefore asks them many different questions: “Why?”, “Why?”, “For what?”. Therefore, the age of 4-5 years is called “the age of why”.
What questions may children ask:
- Why does the sun shine?
-Where does the Earth end?
- Why does the wind blow?
— Why do you need to go to kindergarten?
Tip #7
Do not brush off the child’s questions; support the child at this stage. Even if you find it difficult to answer a question, consult various sources. By doing this you will show your child that a person cannot know everything, but the main thing is the desire and desire to learn about the world around him.
It is during this period that preschoolers experience a special need for encouragement and are offended by comments and if their efforts go unnoticed.
Tip #8
Praise your child and hug him often. Say that you are proud of him, happy with his behavior or action.
In middle preschool age, contacts with peers become of paramount importance. There is an increased need for recognition and respect from peers. The first friends appear with whom the child communicates most willingly. Competition and the first leaders begin to emerge in the group of children. Gender preferences begin to emerge: girls play with girls, boys with boys.
