Self-esteem of a preschooler: how the child is progressing in self-awareness

Prerequisites for the formation of self-esteem in preschool children

The need for self-esteem appears in a child after the self-system is formed. In order to evaluate oneself in some way, one needs to have an idea of ​​oneself, at least in general terms.

Self-awareness, in other words, awareness of oneself, is gradually formed in a child at the suggestion of adults, starting from the first months of life. “My sunshine,” the mother says tenderly, looking tenderly at the baby, and he smiles in response, and with some tenth sense he catches how wonderful he is.

Self-esteem is still a long way off. First, an image of oneself must be formed, and it is collected bit by bit in childhood. Self-esteem begins to manifest itself from the moment a child gains the ability to free himself from adults’ opinions about him.

As a rule, psychologists believe that the first shoots of self-esteem break through during the crisis period of 3 years, when a child moves from an early age into preschool childhood.

By the beginning of preschool age, the baby still knows very little about himself, but he repeatedly hears words of praise and positive characteristics from adults: kind, affectionate, good, handsome, smart, etc. The child attributes all these qualities to himself, having no idea how inherent they are to him. Thus, in the center of the self-image, the child’s knowledge of himself as an individual accumulates, which is the basis of self-esteem.

Low self-esteem of preschoolers

Low self-esteem in children of senior preschool age is rare and is a deviation in personality formation. The characteristics of such guys are manifested in their behavior:

• very often they are characterized by shyness, isolation, an unstable emotional background, for example, they may suddenly burst into tears;
• they try to avoid responsible decisions and take a deliberately simple position;
• during public speaking they show lower results than when performing individual work;
• feeling failure, they stop performing any activity;
• they have few friends, as they try to avoid large companies.

Insecure children often have dysfunctional families and low social status. This causes constant ridicule from their peers and places them in the category of outcasts. Incorrect assessment of personality can arise as a result of a constant negative environment created by the parents themselves. For example, the mother constantly pulls the baby back, scolds him for any mistakes and pranks, and doubts his abilities. The kid is sure that if he did not cope well with one task, he will also not complete another task. Children with low self-esteem have the following problems :

• conflict when communicating with peers;
• have poor personality development;
• They often display anger and hostility.

Important! Adults should remember: senior preschool age is a period when every rude word and unfounded criticism can have a detrimental effect on socialization. The child needs to be loved, supported, accepted all his qualities, and helped to get rid of negative ones.

Components of self-esteem

There are two components that underlie the psychological mechanism of self-esteem:

• cognitive
• emotional

The cognitive component represents the knowledge base about what a person can be, what qualities he can have in principle. This also includes moral characteristics, achievements in activity, and how a person manifests himself in communication.

For example, a preschooler knows that a person can be good or evil. He tries on both characteristics and concludes that he is, of course, kind.

Obviously, a 3-year-old toddler has so little experience in knowing people that his ideas about a person are limited to what his loved ones tell him. The development of the child’s cognitive processes and the expansion of his social circle will gradually serve him an invaluable service in accumulating knowledge about the individual.

By the time it comes time to enter school, the preschooler will already be comprehensively informed about personal qualities, and know a lot about how he can express himself in a given situation.

The emotional component of self-esteem (or affective) accumulates through communication with others. The social circle expands - the affective component of the self-image is enriched. Mom calls “my happiness”, “beauty”, “affectionate kitten”, and someone else’s aunt said: “What a capricious child.” A new characteristic is deposited in the child’s mind. After some time, he begins to understand in what situations he behaves capriciously.

Evaluative statements from adults contain emotional components and direct the preschooler’s attention to his behavior, thanks to which the child receives a model for forming ideas about himself.

Features of adequate self-esteem

Adequate self-esteem in children develops in the presence of correct self-knowledge. The main characteristics of normal personality development are the ability to admit mistakes and a realistic assessment of one’s own actions. Children with adequate self-knowledge analyze the activity and explain the reason for the failure. They strive to do joint work, support friends, show a friendly attitude, and easily communicate with the guys. Characteristic features of children with adequate self-esteem:

• responsibility;
• the ability to highly evaluate others;
• confidence;
• integrity;
• defending one's own interests.

Features of behavior with adequate self-esteem:

• Preschoolers can ask adults for help in times of difficulty while maintaining confidence.
• Children are able to adequately assess their own behavior and know how to accept themselves as they are.
• Having made a mistake, they tend to choose a less difficult task. Having received a positive result, they strive to achieve even greater success.

Adequate self-esteem of children of senior preschool age appears thanks to the correctly chosen model of education. Properly raising parents think about behavior when a small family member is nearby. They thank him for the work done and concentrate on the positive. They allow you to take initiative and support you in times of failure. They don’t set impossible goals for him; instead of criticizing him, they calmly explain that some things are unacceptable to do. Feeling this attitude, the baby gains confidence, begins to show interest, and successfully completes tasks.

How to praise and punish correctly in order to form adequate self-esteem

How to increase your child's self-esteem? Loving parents are puzzled by this question. Experts recommend making praise and punishment important elements of the educational process. There is no need to be afraid of punishment, because with the right approach, it is a method of control that can subjugate and change a child’s thoughts, behavior, and lifestyle. However, when punishment becomes a way of self-affirmation for the parent, the result of education turns out to be zero. The use of such ineffective measures as shouting, aggression, and physical force will not help in any way to form adequate self-esteem. This distorts the child’s idea of ​​normal relationships between people. What can you do to help your child improve self-esteem:

1. Conduct an educational conversation. If the little one is very naughty, it is better to talk, creating a calm environment. This approach will force him to understand and analyze his actions.
2. Offer to fix the situation yourself. If a preschooler breaks or spoils something, you need to give him the opportunity to compensate for the damage. Correcting your own mistakes is a very useful tool for thinking and making the right decision.
3. Positive attitude. In addition to correcting the situation, the adult must encourage the child to do things that are beneficial. For example, by removing scattered things, you can improve the appearance of the room and perform a small rearrangement.
4. Instead of constant shouting, it is necessary to formulate clear requirements and monitor their implementation.
5. If you still need to punish a child, you need to warn about the punishment.
6. There are more effective ways to convince a preschooler: involvement in interesting situations, suggestion, play, conversation. The use of such methods eliminates the need to punish.
7. Using praise is a more effective method of parenting. Many families mistakenly believe that rewards can spoil the baby. The more often a preschooler hears approval, the less often he has to be punished. You need to praise more, punish less.

Important! Psychologists recommend sticking to the following scheme: punished once, praised five times. Children of older preschool age perceive and assimilate positive information more easily. As they grow up, they begin to independently analyze their behavior, think about the correctness of their actions, and avoid situations that displease their parents.

Ways to properly encourage a preschooler:

• You need to praise for striving, trying to achieve a certain result;
• parents should evaluate only actions;
• use small rewards for praise;
• give particularly important instructions, emphasizing the importance and independence of the child;

Important! In order to maintain adequate self-esteem of a preschooler, parents can praise him in front of strangers, but punishing him is allowed only in private!

Development of self-esteem in preschool age

The primary layer of a child’s self-esteem can be compared to a fluffy cloud – emotional and positive. Every child sees himself through the eyes of loving parents.

The preschooler learns the types and criteria of assessments in communication with adults. The child hears how his actions and activities are evaluated, pays attention to the evaluation of others and applies this to himself.

A preschooler strives to meet the demands of adults. He is sensitive to comments “this is good” and “this is not possible”, “this is bad”.

In productive activities and work activities, children discover their own capabilities, thanks to which they develop self-esteem of their achievements.

In independent activity, self-esteem manifests itself as the ability to correlate the result obtained with the one expected by the child. Seeing the discrepancy between the result and the initial plan, some preschoolers give up their idea. But many people stubbornly try to redo their work and do better. In both cases, self-assessment is involved. Although faith in one’s abilities and skills manifests itself only in the second case.

A preschooler's self-esteem is formed under the influence of the assessments of significant adults. If a child hears negative statements about the results of his efforts, then he will also underestimate his abilities. And this does not in any way contribute to the desire to redo the work and achieve a better result. The general positive assessment of an adult, interspersed with targeted comments on where and what the child is able to correct, strengthens faith in oneself and one’s skill.

Formation of self-esteem in younger preschoolers

Already in early preschool age, the child expects recognition of his achievements from adults. Whether he molded a bun out of plasticine or fastened buttons - no matter how significant the result - the baby wants to hear words of admiration from those around him. He cannot yet set criteria for the success, or, conversely, failure, of his actions. Adults admire and praise - so the child considers himself successful.

For example, having heard from the mother “How beautifully you drew!”, the child will undoubtedly consider both his drawing to be good and himself to be skillful in drawing. And having witnessed the praise of other children, “What a great Dima! I put all the toys away!” - a preschooler is trying to prove himself in some activity in order to also become a “good guy.”

A feeling of pride in one's achievements is a psychological new formation of early preschool age and forms a solid foundation in the formation of self-esteem.

At 4 years old, children do not associate self-esteem with their successful or unsuccessful experiences. They are completely guided by the evaluative statements of others.

By the age of 5, preschoolers consider themselves good, pointing out their positive qualities: sharing toys, obeying their mother, etc. At this age, children evaluate themselves by comparing with their peers.

MAGAZINE Preschooler.RF

Objectivity of self-esteem is included in one of the components of psychological readiness for school – personal readiness. Therefore, the formation of adequate self-esteem becomes an important issue for parents and teachers.

Self-esteem is a person’s assessment of his capabilities, qualities and place among other people.

A preschooler’s self-esteem is formed, on the one hand, under the influence of adults’ praise and their assessments of the child’s achievements, and on the other hand, under the influence of the sense of independence and success that the child experiences in various activities.

A healthy atmosphere in the family, the desire to understand and support the child, sincere participation and empathy, a sense of psychological security - these are the components for the formation of positive adequate self-esteem in the child.

A child with high self-esteem may believe that he is right in everything. He strives to control other children, seeing their weaknesses, but not seeing his own, often interrupts, treats others down, and tries with all his might to attract attention to himself. From a child with high self-esteem you can hear: “I am the best.” With inflated self-esteem, children are often aggressive and belittle the achievements of other children.

If a child's self-esteem is low, most likely he is anxious and unsure of his own abilities. Such a child always thinks that he will be deceived, offended, underestimated, always expects the worst, and builds a defensive wall of mistrust around himself. He strives for solitude, is touchy, and indecisive. Such children adapt poorly to new conditions. When performing any task, they are set up for failure, finding insurmountable obstacles. Children with low self-esteem often refuse new activities for fear of failure, overestimate the achievements of other children and do not attach importance to their own successes.

Low, negative self-esteem in a child is extremely unfavorable for the full development of the individual. Such children are in danger of developing the attitude “I am bad”, “I can’t do anything”, “I am a loser”.

With adequate self-esteem, the child creates around himself an atmosphere of honesty, responsibility, compassion and love. He feels valued and respected. He believes in himself, although he is able to ask for help, is able to make decisions, and can admit that there are mistakes in his work. He values ​​himself, and therefore is ready to value those around him. Such a child has no barriers that prevent him from experiencing a variety of feelings towards himself and others. He accepts himself and others as they are.

So, a preschooler sees himself through the eyes of close adults who are raising him. If the assessment and expectations in the family do not correspond to the characteristics of the child, his ideas about himself will be distorted.

Adequate self-esteem helps a preschooler master new activities and, without doubt or fear, get involved in preparation for school.

To develop adequate self-esteem in a child

• Don’t protect your child from everyday affairs, don’t try to solve all his problems for him, but don’t overload him either. Let your child help with the cleaning, enjoy the work done and receive well-deserved praise. Set feasible tasks for your child so that he can feel skillful and useful.
• Don't overpraise your child, but don't forget to reward him when he deserves it.
• Remember that to form adequate self-esteem, both praise and punishment must also be adequate.
• Encourage initiative in your child.
• Show by your example the adequacy of your attitude towards successes and failures. Compare: “Mom’s pie didn’t turn out well - well, that’s okay, next time we’ll put more flour . Or: “Horror! The pie didn't work out! I will never bake again!” .
• Don't compare your child to other children. Compare him with himself (what he was yesterday or will be tomorrow).
• Scold for specific actions, not in general.
• Remember that negative feedback is the enemy of interest and creativity.
• Analyze his failures together with your child, drawing the right conclusions. You can tell him something using your example, so the child will feel an atmosphere of trust and understand that you are closer to him.
• Try to accept your child for who he is.

Games and tests that will help determine your child's self-esteem

Test "Ladder" ("Ten steps")

Draw on a piece of paper or cut out a ladder of 10 steps. Now show it to the child and explain that on the lowest step there are the worst (angry, envious, etc.) boys and girls, on the second step - a little better, on the third even better, and so on. But at the very top step are the smartest (good, kind) boys and girls. It is important that the child correctly understands the location on the steps; you can ask him about this.

Now ask: on what step would he stand? Let him draw himself on this step or put a doll. Now you have completed the task, all that remains is to draw conclusions.

If a child places himself on the first, 2nd step from the bottom, then he has low self-esteem, if on the 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th, then he has average (adequate) , and if it is on the 9th, 10th, then self-esteem is too high.

Attention: in preschoolers, self-esteem is considered too high if the child constantly puts himself at the 10th level.

“Name” (N.V. Klyueva, N.V. Kasatkina)

This game can provide additional information about a child's self-esteem.

You can invite your child to come up with a name that he would like to have, or leave his own. Ask why he doesn't like or like his name, why he would like to be called differently. This game can provide additional information about your baby's self-esteem. After all, often giving up one’s name means that the child is dissatisfied with himself or wants to be better than he is now.

“Playing out situations” (N.V. Klyueva, Yu.V. Kasatkina)

The child is offered situations in which he must portray himself. Situations can be different, invented or taken from life. Other roles during the enactment are performed by one of the parents or other children. Sometimes it is useful to switch roles. Example situations:

• You took part in the competition and took first place, and your friend was almost last. He was very upset. Help him calm down.
• Mom brought 3 oranges for you and your sister (brother). How will you divide them? Why?
• The guys from your group in kindergarten are playing an interesting game, and you are late, the game has already started. Ask to be accepted into the game. What will you do if the children don't want to accept you? (This game will help your child learn effective behavior patterns and use them in real life.)

Techniques for increasing a child’s self-esteem:

1. Ask for advice as an equal or elder. Be sure to follow the child’s advice, even if it is far from the best, since the educational result is more important than any other.
2. Ask for help as a peer or elder.
3. There are moments when an all-powerful adult needs to be a junior - weak, dependent, helpless, defenseless... from a child!

Already at the age of 5-7, this technique, used from time to time, can give miraculous results.

Techniques for normalizing a child’s high self-esteem:

1. Teach your child to listen to the opinions of people around him.
2. Take criticism calmly, without aggression.
3. Teach to respect the feelings and desires of other children, as they are just as important as your own feelings and desires.

We praise and punish

Of great importance in the formation of a child’s self-esteem is the interested attitude of an adult, approval, praise, support and encouragement - they stimulate the child’s activities and form moral habits of behavior. Physiologist D.V. Kolesov O. If a child does not receive timely approval during an activity, he develops a feeling of insecurity.

However, you also need to praise correctly! Understanding how important praise is for a child, it must be used very skillfully. Vladimir Levi, author of the book “The Non-Standard Child,” believes that there is no need to praise a child in the following cases:

1. For what was not achieved through one’s own labor - physical, mental or spiritual.
2. Beauty and health are not subject to praise. All natural abilities as such, including good character.
3. Toys, things, clothes, random finds.
4. You can't praise out of pity.
5. Out of a desire to please.

Praise

It is important to remember that absolutely all children are talented in their own way. Parents should be more attentive to their children in order to find the talent inherent in the child and develop it. It is important to encourage any child’s desire for self-expression and development. Under no circumstances should you tell a child that he will not become a great singer, dancer, etc. With such phrases, you not only discourage a child from wanting to do anything, but also deprive him of self-confidence, lower his self-esteem, and reduce motivation.

Be sure to praise your children for any achievements: for good grades at school, for winning sports competitions, for a beautiful drawing.

One of the methods of praise can be an advance, or praise for what will happen. Approval in advance will instill in the child faith in himself and his strength: “You can do it!” , “You can almost do it!” , “You will definitely succeed!” , "I believe in you!" , “You will succeed!” etc. Praising a child in the morning is an advance for the whole long and difficult day.

Vladimir Levi advises remembering the child’s suggestibility. If you say, “Nothing will ever come of you!” , “You are incorrigible, you have only one road (to prison, to the police, to an orphanage, etc.)” - then don’t be surprised if this happens. After all, this is a real direct suggestion, and it works. The child may believe in your attitudes.

Punishments

Not only encouragement, but also punishment plays an important role in the formation of self-esteem. When punishing a child, you should follow a number of recommendations.

1. Punishment should not harm health - neither physical nor psychological. Moreover, punishment must be useful.
2. If there is any doubt whether to punish or not to punish, do not punish. Even if they have already realized that they are usually too soft and indecisive. No "prevention" .
3. One punishment at a time. The punishment can be severe, but only one, for everything at once.
4. Punishment is not at the expense of love. Whatever happens, do not deprive your child of your warmth.
5. Never take away things given by you or anyone else - ever!
6. You can cancel the punishment. Even if he acts so outrageously that it couldn’t be worse, even if he just yelled at you, but at the same time today he helped the sick or protected the weak. Don't forget to explain to your child why you did this.
7. It is better not to punish than to punish belatedly. Belated punishments instill in the child the past and prevent him from becoming different.
8. Punished - forgiven. If the incident is over, try not to remember the “old sins” . Don't bother me to start living again. Remembering the past, you run the risk of creating a feeling of “eternal guilt” .
9. No humiliation. If the child believes that we are unfair, punishment will have the opposite effect.

We do not punish:

1. If the child feels unwell or is sick.
2. When a child eats, after sleep, before bed, during play, while working.
3. Immediately after mental or physical trauma.
4. When a child cannot cope with fear, with inattention, with mobility, with irritability, with any shortcoming, making sincere efforts. And in all cases when something doesn’t work out.
5. When the internal motives of an action are unclear to us.
6. When we ourselves are not ourselves, when we are tired, upset or irritated for some reason...

Good luck in your cooperation with your child!

Self-esteem in children with disabilities

Children with disabilities often have problems with self-esteem. This problem is caused by external factors. If a family treats such a child with trepidation and tries to surround him with love in every possible way, then other people may treat him with misunderstanding and be aggressive.

Here it is important to talk as much as possible with the child about the fact that there are different situations in life. Not all children are born with the same opportunities, and there is no escape from this, you need to learn to live with it. It is important for a student to find an activity that would raise self-esteem and distract his attention. When children with disabilities develop their talents, they feel needed by society. A positive experience would be to find like-minded people, like children with common interests.

Topics: Child psychology, For parents, Child development, For schoolchildren, Preparing for school

Useful tips for parents

In order for a preschooler to adequately assess his own abilities, parents must adhere to the following rules:

1. You can't make comparisons A common mistake families make is to draw analogies between children. “Look, Vasya is a great student,” “Katya cleans the house, you throw things around.” Such remarks develop a feeling of insecurity and inferiority. You need to notice the baby’s strengths and emphasize them. For example, “Vasya knows mathematics very well, you know Russian,” “Katya cleans, and you wash the dishes wonderfully.”
2. We need to realistically evaluate achievements. Excessive praise can instill in children a dependence on evaluation. By criticizing, you can develop a personal inferiority complex. You can't underestimate your abilities, but you can't overestimate them either.
3. Accepting your child's boundaries This definition covers a wide range of personality traits. Parents must respect the feelings and thoughts of their own child and take care of toys and other property. Accept friends, interests, hobbies. You should understand that the baby may be in a bad mood, angry, and upset. The respectful attitude of parents contributes to the formation of adequate self-esteem in preschoolers.
4. Be an example Children of older preschool age choose an ideal - mom or dad. The guys note how their parents treat themselves. Does your mother consider herself beautiful? Does dad speak respectfully? Children immediately notice the internal problems of adults, borrow and repeat the behavior of relatives, considering them correct. Family members are encouraged to engage in self-analysis, keep promises, take care, and share achievements. Within the family, basic values ​​are formed that the child adopts. In addition to the preschooler’s own activities, self-esteem is formed by the actions, conversations, and actions of parents. These factors influence the successful development of personality, the effectiveness of building relationships, and imitation of positive examples.

How to determine a preschooler's self-esteem

Diagnostics of self-esteem helps to identify problems of personality development and self-knowledge of children of senior preschool age. Timely detected assessment deviations from the norm are easily corrected. The “Ladder” technique is a well-known method for diagnosing the type of self-esteem of a preschooler. The test helps to identify the attitude towards oneself, as well as determine how, in one’s opinion, others evaluate him. Such testing is quite accessible to parents. It can be done in a playful way.

To carry out the test, you will need a sheet of paper, a drawn staircase of seven steps, a figurine of a boy or girl, and a pencil. You need to ask the children to place the figure opposite the step they want to choose. The guys need to voice the following conditions :

• the first step is the best guys;
• the second place was taken by the good guys;
• the third is neither bad nor good;
• fourth – more bad than good;
• fifth – bad;
• sixth – very bad;
• The seventh place was taken by the worst guys.

The chosen step will be an indicator of self-esteem. Interpretation of test results :

1. the first and second steps are chosen by children with high self-esteem;
2. the third step speaks of adequate self-esteem;
3. the fourth - sixth show an underestimation;
4. the seventh is extremely underestimated.

The results of the technique help to reveal children’s internal problems, correct self-esteem, and develop the ability to correctly assess one’s own personality.

Self-esteem of a junior schoolchild: diagnosis

What is the self-esteem of the vast majority of preschoolers? This question often interests teachers and parents. There are various ways and exercises to find out how a student evaluates himself. Thanks to special events, the student’s self-esteem is determined. Teachers conduct extracurricular lessons. It is important not to overload children's thinking and emotions at this moment.

The methodology for determining self-esteem in primary school age is based on an integrated approach. It includes several exercises:

1. Teachers invite children to portray themselves. After the schoolchildren characterize their qualities, teachers in this situation are interested in who is depicted on the paper, why in such colors and with such a facial expression. Here it is important to divide qualities into bad and good, to help the child form an adequate assessment of himself.
2. You can invite children to invent new names for themselves or imagine themselves as fairy-tale characters. Experienced psychologists will be able to extract information about the child’s self-esteem.
3. Special questionnaires are also being developed. Children must answer simple questions. Based on the results of the survey, a portrait of the child is drawn up.

Diagnosis of self-esteem in primary school age can be carried out using various methods. This is necessary to understand whether the child’s assessment of himself needs to be adjusted and what kind of help is needed. Adequate self-esteem of a primary school student is rare. It's constantly changing. Overestimated or underestimated self-esteem in a child is more common. A set of special exercises should be carried out by teachers at least once a month.

Three main types of self-assessment by children

There are 3 options for the results of self-esteem studies: adequate (but this is very rare for children, as you understand), underestimated or overestimated. These studies are carried out to identify deviations. Let us examine in more detail the positive and negative aspects of all three options.

Overpriced

Such children are overly self-confident and, as a rule, overly independent. The rules of society are not written for them and only they can decide what to do. A child with high self-esteem does not even need parental advice and knows what to do. Ready to take on the most difficult tasks, thereby risking failure because he did not adequately assess his strength.

Such children should always be the first and their desire is commendable, the main thing is not to cross the line. The child needs to be explained that not all means are good on the way to the goal. Such a kid prefers not to comply with agreements; he is not interested in it and the condemnation of society is absolutely indifferent.

Understated

At primary school age, a child’s self-esteem is often low. The kid refuses difficult tasks, doubting his own abilities. The child deliberately refuses high marks because he is not confident in himself. This entails more serious problems. For example, isolation, problems communicating with peers. The child deliberately lowers his standards, which is why it is so important to praise the child and not just like that, but for his achievements. Even if they are small and insignificant, the parents’ task is to focus on the positive aspects.

Don't let your child think about troubles, set him up for positive thinking and let him know that your child deserves better.

Adequate

It is very rare for a child to have adequate self-esteem, but it still exists. Such children are sociable, active and enjoy learning. Difficult tasks do not frighten them. If they failed to complete the task, they will adequately accept criticism and take into account everything the teacher said. Usually the whole team is drawn to such children, as they know how to interest and organize their peers.

Characteristics of self-esteem levels

From a psychological point of view, there are three levels of self-esteem. When determining this quality, one cannot operate solely in terms of “good and bad.” A more in-depth approach is needed here, taking into account some features.

Low self-esteem

If a child succumbs to the influence of others, he exhibits:

• diffidence,
• indecision,
• shyness,
• excessive caution

- These are indicators of low self-esteem. Such children simply need the approval and support of others.

The existing inferiority complex does not allow him to set high goals for himself. And the means to achieve them are not always worthy. Such children are often fixated on their failures and are afraid to change the usual course of events.

They grow up to be closed and envious, overly demanding and self-critical, cruel and vindictive people. Having decided that a loser is their role, they simply do not notice their opportunities and successes. External portrait of a person with low self-esteem:

• the head is pulled into the shoulders;
• indecisiveness in gestures and actions;
• "running" look.

Such manifestations in childhood should cause anxiety in parents and a desire to immediately try to correct the situation.

Heightened self-esteem

Often a child with high self-esteem complains that no one wants to be friends with him. This comes from the fact that he constantly tries to convince others of his superiority and requires recognition of his uniqueness. Believes he is underestimated.

Neither the advice of parents nor the opinions of others are important for such children. They take on impossible tasks and risk failure. The child attributes failure to chance, someone else’s fault. He perceives criticism as pickiness.

Children with high self-esteem gradually develop rudeness, aggression, rigidity, and quarrelsomeness. Externally, the following characteristic features are also determined:

• head held high and back straight;
• long, direct gaze;
• "commander" tone.

Such people strive to be the first in everything. This desire is worthy of praise, but it is worth explaining that not all means to achieve goals are good.

Adequate self-esteem

Success in society, in professional activities, in interpersonal relationships largely depends on a person’s ability to balance strengths and capabilities. That is, it is very important that a child develops adequate self-esteem from early childhood.

This level allows the little person to normally perceive healthy criticism, correctly assess the goals and his strengths (the chance to complete the task). A real assessment of oneself generates a feeling of stability and inner harmony. This is the key to a positive attitude towards others. A person with such a behavioral reaction will be able to fully demonstrate his advantages, compensating for his existing shortcomings.

Thanks to the descriptions presented above, you can determine the child’s level of self-esteem. And a thoughtful approach to development and education will help correct it.

What are the dangers of low self-esteem?

The self-esteem of a younger student may be underestimated. There could be a number of reasons for this: at a minimum, he was treated poorly at home and at school, and at the maximum, he experienced tragic events in his life. It is important to take action in time and lend a helping hand to the child. Children do not always understand what is happening, why the world is so unfair to them. It happens that they experience ridicule from their peers and do not find support from their parents and teachers.

If you do not help such a child, then in the future he will have low self-esteem, which will affect his quality of life and his interaction with other people. Such people remain lonely and experience aggression towards the world around them. They strive to avoid responsibility and constantly doubt their own decisions.

The most common reasons for low self-esteem in younger schoolchildren include careless parenting and excessive criticism. In particular, such children are given little love and attention; they often withdraw into their own world and do not make contact with other people.

It happens that parents do not notice how they are putting pressure on their child. They think that this way they can achieve results much faster than in other families. Sometimes parental selfishness manifests itself in this way. The child has no room to make his own decisions. He feels insecure in his adult life.

What influences the formation of a child’s self-esteem?

To help a growing person develop adequate self-esteem, it is necessary to use both praise and criticism wisely.

1. It may be worth paying attention to the number of comments and encouragements given to the child per day. Less praise than blame? You need to think about it, because it lowers self-esteem. Constant praise is also inappropriate.
2. Praise should not be given just like that, but for a specific deed or action. Since the authority of older relatives is a priority for children, the identification technique can be used. Example: “You are so strong, like dad!” But you should not use superlative praise: “You are the best!” or compare the child with other children. It’s better to celebrate your child’s successes dynamically: “Today you completed your lessons faster than yesterday.”
3. When criticizing or making comments, there is no need to become personal. Instead of: “You behaved disgustingly today,” it’s better to say: “You shouldn’t have quarreled with Seryozha, you could have calmly discussed the rules of the game, because you’re a wise guy.” You should often focus on your child’s strengths.

The level of self-esteem can fluctuate throughout a person’s life. The confidence that his parents instilled in him forms his core. It will help to cope with criticism or outright flattery that awaits a person on his life’s path. A child should grow up confident that he:

• self-sufficient;
• reasonable;
• able to make the right decisions.

It is also worth remembering that the example of parents, how they cope with difficulties and various everyday situations, is extremely important for their offspring.